As I Am

By Chlotrudis Independent Film Society
Rating: 2.7 cats
Director: Pourya Azarbayjani
Starring: David Diaan | Jadé Porciatti | Miriam Cyr | Nicole Ansari-Cox | Shahrokh Moshkin Ghalam

Year: 2026

Running time: 118

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt41876652/

Brett says: “AS I AM is a well-meaning narrative feature from director/writer Pourya Azerbayjani Dow in which a former solider in the Iran-Iraq War seeks to rekindle a flame from forty years in the past, with emphasis on the word ‘seek.’ That’s because the rekindling is through his watchful eyes as he rents the upstairs of a neighboring house and observes from a distance through a set of binoculars. Before one’s Hitchcock wheels get turning, it should be noted that the point-of-view in this film changes from time to time, and the audience does get to witness the American way of life for the target of this gazing affection and his interaction with family and community, so we are not simply confined to a bedroom perspective.

“In fact, the puzzling motivations for this distant person-watching are just the hook and essential tension build of the film for the first act. One can even say that’s it’s acceptably effective in establishing a certain degree of tension and captivation. Eventually, it takes a turn to make sure that still emptiness is not the only emotion or atmosphere at play. The result is one that begins to wander down some familiar plot territory, even if the background stories of the characters are unique to this particular film.

“Perhaps the biggest misstep is the use of the film’s self-awareness of itself as it delves deeper into the strained relationship, and this is in the most literal sense of ‘self-awareness.’  Instead of having enough confidence in a love story to see it through to the end, the director/writer chooses to attempt to excuse himself for playing into cliches by having the characters break the fourth wall and call themselves out for being on the verge of too dramatic or too ‘tropey.’ But, dramatic/melodramatic is what the nucleus of the film is. So, calling oneself out on it does not excuse oneself from it. In fact, the complete breakaway from the tone(s) the movie has worked so hard to establish undermines the core narrative and becomes really disengaging.

“At this point, it behooves me to say a really bad review would be to do what I’ve just done, but I can tell you all the things I was going to do that I’ve decided not to do in this review. Now I am off the hook, right? If you stop to let the previous two sentences sink in, such is exactly the odd case of AS I AM.”

“2 CATS OUT OF 5”

Eliza says: “AS I AM, provided a voyeuristic look into secret love, 4 decades removed.

“Amir, a 60 year old Iranian man, arrives in Massachusetts on a travel visa. He spends several days watching through the window of his air b and b, an old comrade from his army days back in Iran, who happens to live next door. It is revealed that they were former friends with a deep connection that couldn’t be explored in the time and place they had met.

“Fariborz, viewed for much of the movie through binoculars, lived a quiet, emotionally distant life with a nuclear family.  He and his wife did not share sleeping quarters. When Amir and Fariborz are outed, they share beds and recall days where they lived in the same room but could not act on their desires.

“At around the halfway point, there is a breaking of the fourth wall that comes as a surprise to the viewer. At first, I questioned the choice as it felt a bit distracting. After hearing the actors discuss the script and other routes it could’ve gone, on-screen, I realized it was another way to iterate the yearning and distance the portrayed characters had felt. And maybe that was one of the ways to quantify it tangibly for the audience. It was one way for them to flesh out the what could’ve beens in a very direct, matter-of-fact way. A liberty they didn’t have before.

“There were some lovely visuals, especially of shorelines and such. I appreciated being able to have a glimpse into two ships in the night, finally having their shot at sharing a boat.

“3.5/5 cats.”

Michael says: “As is often the case, the winner of the Audience Award for best narrative was a bust for me. Not completely mind you, AS I AM has a great story, such that I wasn’t sure if I was watching a doc or a narrative for the first few minutes, and was beautifully shot in the Hull, MA area,  but poorly executed and overly sentimental by the end. Amir and Fariborz served together during the Iran-Iraq war 40 years ago, where they developed a close but forbidden bond that led to their parting of ways. Today, Amir travels to the South Shore of Massachusetts to find Fariborz and see if anything remains of the emotions they once shared.