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The Art of the Steal

Country: canada, united_states

Year: 2014

Running time: 90

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2172985/combined

Kyle says: “Kurt Russell plays a character named Crunch Calhoun, a failed daredevil con-man art thief who repeatedly mutters, ‘Oh boy!’ when he’s in a jam. The only worse Kurt Russell performance I can think of is his indelible Steve Stronghold, a/k/a The Commander, in SKY HIGH (2005). You now know virtually everything you need to, if you are trying to decide whether to watch this movie. It is the perfect Netflix movie: You can pause it to make dinner, check texts and e-mails, go to the bathroom, or turn off the television and do something useful, the latter of which is recommended. Better still, watch a good heist movie, such as RIFIFI (1955) or RESERVOIR DOGS (1992).

“Pitched at the intellectual level of an addled adolescent, written with the sensitivity of Republicans legislating women’s reproductive rights, and wasteful of the talents of numerous actors who all attempt unsuccessfully to conceal their embarrassment, THE ART OF THE STEAL does not even qualify as a mindless summer weekend excuse to pass the time. Terence Stamp has a speech about a youthful visit to the Victoria & Albert Museum that introduced him to the wonders of art, such as Turner, Monet and Vermeer — ‘a feeling of completeness when art touched me’ — which almost passes the bullshit test because it is mellifluously spoken in a British accent. And the great Canadian character actor Jay Baruchel has an amusing line about his thin arms being unsuitable for the prevention of prison rape. When Matt Dillon says, ‘This may be the worst idea in the history of the world!’ yet another advantage of Netflix is revealed: The sound of derisive laughter will not shatter the silence of a cinema in which, just possibly, however unlikely, someone may be having a good time. 1 cat

“Saturday, July 19, 2014 on Netflix, New York.”

 

The Art of the Steal

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