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Troll 2

Country: italy

Year: 1990

Running time: 95

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105643/reference

Scot says: “While I can’t say that TROLL 2 is the worst film I’ve ever seen (see PLANET 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, LET ME DIE A WOMAN, and INDEPENDENCE DAY), I could be convinced that it is the worst film ever made with a plot. (I’m catching up on my underground/cult films while Michael is out of town playing rock star librarian.)

“What can I say? What dare I say? Here are a few bullet points.

  • It’s not a sequel to TROLL (starring Michael Moriarty, Shelley Hack, Sonny Bono, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Gary Sandy, and June Lockhart).
  • In fact there are no trolls in the film, only goblins.
  • This appears to be a joint production of Italy and the state of Utah.
  • The mother should be played by Frances Conroy in the remake.
  • The father should be played by Bill Clinton in the remake.
  • Children should not eat “a large rich cake of a jolly thickness with green sugar on it.” (Peter Pan)
  • Papier-mâché is not a costume.
  • The whole film would have been better acted by the cast of The Housekeeper (1996) which, arguably, sucked even worse. (Ned, Ivy. If I ever win a programming the Brattle thing, that is the film I want on a double bill with SMASHING TIME.)

“That is all. Dead cat.”

Troll 2

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