By Chlotrudis Independent Film Society
Rating: 0 cats
Director: Helen Hunt
Country: united_states
Year: 2015
Running time: 93
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1930463
Kyle says: “35 minutes into the seemingly interminable running time of the twaddle titled RIDE, which accurately describes what anyone who sits through this is being taken for, I had exhausted the wait for one single believable moment, curiosity about what had been done to Helen Hunt’s face, and interest in whether Brenton Thwaites had any talent. I turned my attention to the people who should be held accountable for this crime against Western culture, including the fourteen producers who had obviously been taken for a ride, as well as the director, the writer, and the star, who all happen to be Helen Hunt. The irritating yelp she ends almost every sentence with as she endlessly badgers her son and alienates her audience in the early scenes cannot be blamed upon the writer, so the director must be considered responsible for this terrible performance by the leading lady, who has upon occasion demonstrated some skill. Everything about RIDE being Helen Hunt, Helen Hunt, and more Helen Hunt led me to the conclusion that she cannot write and she cannot direct; as for her ability as an actress, I would have to reconsider dozens of prior credits, and frankly I would rather have pins stuck through my eyes. If I have previously suggested that one of the 2015 Chlotrudis-eligible titles is the worst film of the year, I apologize and retract that statement in favor of RIDE.
“Actually the experience did produce one positive result, which is my vow to never do this to myself again. Henceforth I shall use a fractional system based on the number of minutes wasted over the total running time, multiplied by an estimate of the number of cats for some positive aspect of the movie to report. If I had stopped at 35 minutes, that would have worked out to 35 over 93 times zero. Which would be zero. I wonder if the voters of the Golden Raspberry Awards know about this one? 0 cats
“Saturday, September 12, 2015, on Netflix, New York.”